The Greeks were onto something, they knew that one word for “affection” was never going to be enough. They came up with so many more, but where does our experience fall into that?
Eros is certainly a major player, of course. Without it, why are we here? When I activate your skin, when I make you drown in your own senses, these translate to an intense arousal on so many levels. You might be so hard, it aches, or maybe your back is so alive that the lightest touch sends you into shivers of pleasure.
But Ludus shows in the in-between moments, the playful banter, the jokes and asides. Are you sure you’re ready for another round? Maybe you should wait little longer… even as you whimper and beg for just a bit more, please, Lady, just a bit… Maybe I will make you wait, or maybe I will give you release, or maybe…
I will take you on exactly the right journey. Storge is a strict matriarch who will demand that you eat every last buttered pea before you get your ice cream, and that you will take every one of the lashes you’ve earned through your naughty behavior before laying your head in her lap for comfort. Storge is the part that makes you stronger from your disciplines, the part that tests and defends your boundaries, the part that is the guide on your journey through self-awareness.
Genuine Philia shows in the care that you receive, in the time taken to perfect my craft. I have raised my skills to an art, and you, my medium, glean the benefit of that when you are transformed by the dance between pleasure and pain, between bondage and freedom, between joy and despair. I truly revel in my time with you.
And doesn’t speaking to our higher needs make the world at large a better place? Don’t we, through our honesty to your ourselves, practice a form of Agape? When we are at peace, when we are satisfied, when we do not have to fight against our base urges, we can be better humans to all those around us. We are better lovers, spouses, siblings, friends. We are able to do our work honestly without distraction, knowing that our needs are met with loving sternness.
It all makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? It’s easy to believe that our pursuits are purely selfish, but in the Pragma sense, we are being completely practical. We do not just serve our emotional needs in our scenes, we challenge our bodies and our minds. We stretch our imaginations, we strengthen our wills, we learn to serve, and we learn to receive. These are vital skills that all good humans must hone in order to thrive.
But do not deny, Philautia is the core of our need. Self-love does not preclude all other love, it predicates it. We are able to be present for our Others only in what we can pursue in the presence of our Self. What we do within these walls, what we explore, what you experience, these are all in the act of learning to love the Self, of you learning to love You in the basest and most expansive sense. For you are powerful and strong, my Pet, and you are meek and kind in my holding, and the love you are infused with pours out to all others in your life.
I fill you with my practice of passion because you cannot pour from an empty cup.